How to Have Peace within Yourself and with Others
About making peace and letting go by seeing the bigger picture.
One of the first self-development books I read was “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book talks about four elements that one should incorporate into their life to make peace with things that they can’t change in an effort to pursue a happier life.
One of the agreements mentioned in the book is about not taking anything personally and this is what we’ll talk about now.
Take the power of your life in your hands instead of leaving it to others’. We can’t control what people will think about us. But we can control how we respond to their behavior.
If you’re easily triggered by people’s thoughts and behaviors continue reading why you should incorporate this agreement into your life.
You’ll be amazed when you let go and step into living peacefully.
Everybody Perceives Things Differently
The moment we’re born, we’re introduced to our family’s living standards. Some kids grow up in a loving environment, some grow up in challenging families with poverty or domestic violence. Some may have a loving family but family set expectations on them too hard. Some grow up learning to silence their voices, some grow up learning to be tough and not being a cry baby.
These different environments shape us when we’re becoming an adult. The beliefs we gained since we were kids affect how we think, how we behave to others.
You know, how someone can misunderstand a friendly comment about themselves so easily. Or how everyone interprets the same event in a different way. Because how we see or experience things is a projection of our minds.
If you come across a situation that you’re misunderstood or you disagree with someone, accept that people have their way of thinking. Release the need to prove yourself if they’re not willing to change perspective.
Sometimes letting go might be considered as giving up but it’s also an invitation to having inner peace.
And this doesn’t mean that we can just blame someone if they have a conflict with our opinion. Observe your way of thinking too.
There are always several ways to interpret one story. Remain open-minded and step back to notice the deeper reason for a reaction.
People Change
They say people don’t change. I don’t believe that. Because I’m not the person I was 6 months ago. We’re even different from the person we were yesterday.
But we change only if we want to. And when we step into becoming our true self we remove self-limiting beliefs and shed layers of all insecurities about ourselves. We let go of things and people that we kept holding onto. In the end, we become a new person.
That new life doesn’t have space for a person or thing that doesn’t align with it. It may sound mean but it’s like cleaning out a closet. We need to let some people go to open space for new to come.
That’s why the typical statement we hear in movies when the characters break up “It’s not you. It’s me” doesn’t sound all ridiculous to me anymore.
It means, it’s me who changed and our energy together doesn’t work anymore.
Everybody Has A Right to Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is the best thing to do if a person or a situation doesn’t serve us anymore. It’s necessary to protect our energy when one person doesn’t occupy a healthy space in our mind anymore.
We’re also living in a world of running between work and personal life, trying to keep a sane brain. And sometimes people set a boundary because of this reason too. They can only invest time for real friends. If someone distances themselves from you, don’t blame them for this. Respect that they can only fit certain people in their lives.
It’s not easy to let go of people when we think of them differently than they think of us. But knowing your self-worth and acknowledging other people’s effort to know their self-worth is one of the most mature things one can have.
Final Thoughts
- Don’t take anything personally. Everybody sees the world from a different perspective. We’ve been raised in different environments and this affects our behavior and thinking patterns in relationships.
- Don’t take anything personally. If someone distances you from themselves, you may be one of the reasons of course. But it’s not one way only. This means your energy together doesn’t work anymore.
- Don’t take anything personally. Everyone has a right to set boundaries. During our busy lives, we only have limited space for people to fit in into our lives.
- Finally, don’t take anything personally. We don’t have control over everything in life but we have full control over how to respond to things. Change perspective and take the power of your life in your hands.
*This article is based on personal experience and research. Please consult an expert for your personal experience if needed.*
