It’s magical how a simple event can lead to something broad when you are open to see the bigger picture.
Two years ago I had an interaction with a flower store owner that left me with a big message on how people perceive the world from their perspective.
One day on my way home, I entered the store to check out some plants for my apartment and as everyone would do, I was asking for the prices of the plants that I was interested in. She asked me if I’m going to buy anything. I was going to buy but not necessarily that day. I never assumed that you have to buy everything that you are checking out at a store. I said kindly that I’m interested in it, but I may not be buying at the moment. She immediately turned me down and told me to leave if I don’t buy it. I was shocked and got so blushed. I didn’t know how to respond to this rude behavior. I left the place just saying that she is not polite. And she just rudely waved me goodbye.
To her, I was just a customer that was wasting her time. But to me, it was a different experience. I was misperceived as a person who had bad intentions. And I couldn’t even have a chance to explain myself because of my shock. Each time I was passing by the store, I would remember the interaction and it would bug me. I don’t like to hold any tension towards anyone in my heart. Especially to someone that I don’t even know. But well, we are humans and the brain holds anything good enough to annoy the person in their head.
The only way that made me feel peaceful toward that event was to give it a mindful thought. I concluded she may not have enough compassion in her heart. Or she may have had a similar experience with another person in the past, who was wasting her time.
Now, when I pass by the store I still remember the story but it doesn’t make me roll my eyes with a sighing. Because her behavior doesn’t reflect my actual intention. Period.
However, this small experience is not the only time that I’ve had to come to an invisible agreement with the challenging people in my life. And I’m sure you have experienced similar or worse situations with strangers or loved ones.
I gathered some tips on how to make peace after a challenging situation. Scroll down to expand your perspective for a peaceful life.
Keep in mind that I’m by no means referring to a toxic situation where someone is hurting you physically or mentally in a way that violates your life. In such a case, your fight mode will take on that to make you leave the environment as it’s supposed to be.
Forgiveness Allows Compassion and Peace to Enter into Your Heart
Most of us have a relative, a friend, someone that pulls us back with a comment that they make on our achievements or our personal life. They leave us with a feeling that we are less of something that we thought we were. The resentment we feel leads to a self-limiting belief. And we change our behavior to those people and limit our relationship. This is a fair and an expected reaction. But, not all of us are easy to release the resentment even after we distance ourselves from those people. What happens then is that we close our hearts or we take every comment so seriously and look for similarity in any future event. We carry that emotional baggage with us. There is one solution to leave the baggage though: Forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t justify the other person’s rude behavior but sets us free. It helps us live with a peaceful heart and allows us to see people from a place of compassion in the future.
Everyone Sees Life from Their Perspective
We are all very different humans but also the same. When we see everyone from a way of “oneness,” we accept that we all have worries and fears that trigger us, and desires that keep us going in life. And let’s not forget, everyone sees the world from the limitations of their consciousness.
Next time try to make empathy with the person that challenges you. Everyone is on their journey in life. Some experience things earlier than others and progress according to their level of maturity. Or the environment that they were grown into provides limited awareness into their thinking patterns.
See the situation going out of your bubble. If you conclude they are right in their judgments, work towards making yourself better at something. If you don’t think they have good judgment on you, release the need to prove that they are wrong. Letting it go will give you peace and sets you free from all the possible “what-if” scenarios in your mind.
Accept People as They Are
This is a tough one to achieve in a world full of judgments. But once we accept someone as they are, we gain unconditional love. We release ourselves from trying to turn someone into something that they aren’t. People can only change if they want to. When the change isn’t organic based on their own will it will only backfire in the future. However, if you aren’t happy with someone as they are it is only a sign to let them go.
If acceptance isn’t easy for you, start from yourself. Can you accept yourself as who you are when you look into the mirror? Not only the way you look but also as a person. Can you accept your failures like you accept your achievements? This doesn’t mean you accept yourself as a failed person and you don’t try to get better in those parts of you that you’re not happy with. This means you see those negative sides and you still love yourself. You see the failures as part of the lessons in life and work on having a better version of yourself.
It’s not an easy job to practice these suggestions but worth trying. Both for you and your relationships with others.
These tips will not only make you feel peace and lightness in your heart when you are challenged by people or have difficulty releasing your expectations about them. But also you will radiate loving-kindness to the people around you.